Category Archives: (very) funny stuff

Action 124 – Don’t worry if you make a mistake

In 1853 New York, there was a very picky customer and a very grumpy chef. The customer demanded that his potatoes be cut thinner and fried longer. Furious, the chef cut them very thin, fried them fro ages and covered them in salt. The customer asked for more. Hooooray! The crisp chip was born.

Christopher Columbus was an explorer lookng for Asia. But in 1492 he sailed the wrong way and ended up in an entirely different continent. Happily for him, he didn’t realize at the time and announced, quite smugly, that here he was in Asia. And so it was that America was discovered.

If someone, at some stage hadn’t made a mistake the world wouldn’t have Coca Cola or frisbees, popsicles or chips, penicillin, cheese, slinky-dinks, or America!

Don’t worry if you make a mistake. Sometimes our biggest mistakes are our best inventions.

– excerpt from http://www.wearewhatwedo.org

BRILLIANT! I dedicate this to all our PP girls who beat themselves up like Jemma does after simple mistakes and act like it’s the end of the world, when really, who the frick cares?
The site is by organization that is trying to change the world one action at a time / per person. It’s cool stuff, especially since we PP girls strongly believe in making the world a better place (GO GREEN!!) because we need our grandchildren’s grandchildren to be alive to buy us our Versace purses or our million dollar Baroda pearls, or whatever luxury stuff that grannies buy (a $4.5 million dollars silk, Persian, 500 years old rug maybe?).

– love jemma

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Rumor Has It

rumorsIt’s true that there must be something factual in rumors. I mean, let me tell you a story.
Way back in high school I suddenly had an urge to start a rumor because I thought it would be cool if people believed it and I can secretly say to myself har har har I started that crap! Anyhow, I told my best friend that some psychic woman said if you add your own mobile number with your crush’s mobile number, divide it by 2, multiply by 3 and subtract it by your own number again, if the sum turns up to have (for example) 5 even numbers out of the 10, that means you have a 50% chance of marrying the guy (Okay, I was 16). My best friend gave me a pitiful laugh and asked, where’s the scientific evidence to this? I was shocked, I didn’t know rumors need to have scientific evidence (or any evidence at all for that matter) and I did say I heard it from some psychic woman didn’t I?
Anyways, the moral of this story is, a successful rumor means that there’s got to be something worth believing that drives people to consider it as a fact. I’ve noticed in the tabloids about 70% of the rumors turn out to be true in the end (ex. Lilo’s lesbian relationship, Nicole’s first pregnancy). So don’t automatically push away anything crazy you might hear in the future…. sorry, but crazy things do exist in this world.

Story follow-up: after she busted me I changed the subject right away (probably something lame like, oh I saw Melanie use her cell phone in our social studies 11 class today OMFG!), and we’re ex-best friends now by the way.

– love jemma

This Is Why You’re Fat.

We all have our guilty pleasures. For our sake, it’s the fries with the gravy and all other goodies. For some people, it’s the godiva chocolates and Frito-lay cheetos. But for some Americans (I pinpoint Americans, because they are probably the only people who have the courage to stick these babies in their mouths), their guilty pleasures consist of burgers over 30,000 calories, fries fried (again) wrapped around mars bars and extra large pizzas with a few special toppings – caramel and chocolate sauce, marshmallows, gum drops, M&M’s, coconut flakes, candy hearts and candy fried eggs.. oh, plus chopped pecans. Am I hard to believe? Girls, prepare to be utterly disgusted.

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Behold, the 30,000 calories sandwich. This baby is filled with ground beef, bacon, corn dogs, ham, pastrami, roast beef, bratwurst, braunschweiger and turkey, topped with fried mushrooms, onion rings, swiss/provolone/cheddar/feta/parmesan cheeses, lettuce and butter on a fricking huge loaf of white bread. Just the fact that it’s on white bread alone gives me chills.

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 This one is LOL. So the name is a Turbaconucken – a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey.. all wrapped with bacon. YUM YUM! I just think the appearance looks like some kinda of messed up garbage.

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I like this one because I think it is pretty : ) But I’ll probably die of cholesterol overdose just by eating this. And I’m only in my 20s. (PS. that’s 11 sunny side up eggs)

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Sloppy joes featuring glazed Krispy Kreme. I never understand these combinations, should the salty stick with the salty and sugar with the sugar? I mean, salt and sweet mixed together all in one bite  just doesn’t do it for me.

If you girls want some more challenge to your appetite, as if it’s not ruined already, feel free to indulge yourself in some more of these delicious goodies (sarcasim only) – pls visit www.thisiswhyyourfat.com (it’s a real site, I did not make this up).

– love jemma

Wait, another Valentine’s Day?

Dear all single ladies and gents,

When we thought one day was enough, the infamous, completely over-rated Valentine’s day on February 14 has come back to haunt us for one more day. This time, it’s a month after (March 14) and instead of everything being red with hearts everywhere screaming out HAR HAR WHY ARE YOU SINGLE – on March 14, everything is white. Actually, the japname of this day is White Valentine’s Day. PP girls should know that we would never, ever lie to you, it’s our pack. We’re all girls, on the same boat, it’s like a girlfriend friendship pack and we follow this pack. So it’s true, and this White Valentine’s Day thing is actually celebrated in Japan, Korea, Taiwan, and now, Hong Kong. Okay. Before those who are currently in a sweet relationship who still celebrates heart day with their other half are stressing out the possibility of having to buy yet another present (dude, the economy is bad work is bad money is bad, another present?!?!). The following information shall be your chill pill. According to PinkPoutine research, the real, actual Valentine’s day on Feb 14 is a day where the ladies are supposed to give their men gifts as an expression of love and the men are supposed to just sit there and receive (yes, we can still keep this a secret, just don’t show them this post). On March 14, White Valentine’s Day (originated in Japan, oh the Japanese and their creative juices, sigh) is the day when the men are expected to return the favor given to them a month before, and thus, giving back more expensive gifts to their boos (you may show them this part). So this love exchange program going on in Feb and Mar is actually true. It’s sometimes celebrated in North America too, I’ve seen posters promoting parties that celebrate March 14. So I wonder when would this day become world wide eh.

Okay, so back to the people whom I address this letter to. There is an upside to this whole story. So there’s Feb 14, when the men receive, Mar 14, when women gets the goodies (more ching-a-ling ones), and now South Koreans want 0609_valentines_day_specialan April 14. No, it’s not a day when both of them receive something and give something so that it works as an equation. April 14 is called Black day, also known as the Singles day! But don’t think with Black day we can all get together, get hammered and make out with random hot single strangers. On April 14, all singles have to get together and eat Jajangmyeon (noodles with black bean sauce, hence the name Black). So to celebrate being single, we all have to sit together……..and eat black bean noodles. Great, as if it’s not depressing enough.

From red to white to black. Oh God. I agree that Asians are the creative ones, they think of the most absurd things, and most of them work. In this case, it doesn’t. No fucking way.

Love, Jemma

So the Barbie World is real folks.

I expect our PP girls should all be ex-Barbie fans — back in the days when people owned big dogs and brought them hiking and skiing, instead of today’s tiny chihuahuas where their outfit must match yours (which is, a very long time ago). So, we should all be familiar with the happy Barbie world where no color exist other than the color Pink. Good news girls (maybe?), this all-Pink world is happening in real human life and I have proof.

 

Evidence #1:

Paris Hilton 2009-02-12 - at Harmony Lane Boutique in Beverly Hills

 

Paris Hilton forgot there are other colors on Planet Earth which she can actually wear on her body. As much as I’d love to embrace Pink… Uh, no no no no NO. Not this way please girls, it’s not okay to do this to yourself… or to your $200,000USD Bentley Continental GT.

 

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Everytime I see this picture, I sympathize deeply for the poor thing. The poor, expensive, luxurious thing, sigh.

 

Evidence #2:

Even poutines have gone pink!

(FYI, I’m talking about the site you are currently reading, not really edible.)

 

Evidence #3:

PINK DOLPHINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??

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Okay. Before I get all OMG THIS IS MY ULTIMATE HEAVEN on my PP girls, you all have to understand that I have this unexplainable fetish and love for dolphins. I go gugu gaga over these cute little sea mammals at aquariums, cruises, television, everywhere! I have a secret dream and it’s to become a dolphin trainer, honestly it doesn’t get any better than that.. I’ll die happy.

 

Okay. So here it goes.. OMFG IT’S A PINK DOLPHIN GODDAMIT! let’s see it again, in another angle to further prove its actualness..

 

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Absolutely breathtaking.  

Is it possible? Is this really possible? Yes it is girls, it’s actually R-E-A-L. no paint, no joke.

This cute little guy is an albino bottlenose dolphin and it was born with more of a rose color when it was a calf two years ago. Spotted at Lake Calcasieu, Louisiana, it’s attracting a lot of attention from tourists. Anyone want to take me there so that I can reunite with my pet soul mate?

 

Oh my Pinkness.

 

– love jemma

 

♥ gossip girls, people, the phoenix